


nothing but silence

by Brie (Kura)



Series: Let The World Know [1]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Aftermath, Gen, Kinda, M/M, No Dialogue, Seth's Betrayal, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 07:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1735586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kura/pseuds/Brie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roman reflects on what is, what has been and what will never be again.</p><p>Seth's betrayal has changed it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	nothing but silence

**Author's Note:**

> Seth doing this just hurt so much that I wanted to write something about it. If you guys like it, there might even be a sequel with Seth's POV. Not beta-ed because I don't have one but I hope it's not too full of mistakes.

His back hurts like hell but it's nothing compared to the stabbing pain penetrating his chest. It's like someone (and God, does he want to ignore that that person's name is Seth) lay an icy cold, death-like hand around his heart and violently squeezed it, trying to rip it completely apart.

Again.

It's not the first time Seth has pulled off this crap, and Roman really just wants to laugh at it. _Not the first time_. So, how many times will Seth be able to betray them, gain their trust again just to stab them in the back the moment they would gladly take a bullet and die for him?

Dean hasn't said a word since RAW went off air. Hasn't even dared to look him in the eye. It's weird and worries Roman more than he cares to admit.

The last time Seth had walked out on them, Dean had practically exploded. He had roamed the arena like the caged animal he is, screaming and shouting for Seth to show his fucking face. Dean had been ready to tear down the earth just to make sure there was no place to hide for their brother anymore.

(Former brother. _Acquaintance_. Sadly, Seth now was nothing more than that. Roman can't even begin to imagine how Dean will address this in the future.)

Tonight though, Dean had asked him once, only once and with a quiet, obviously very controlled voice, if he was okay.

After a while he had nodded, unable to think of anything else than _My brother is leaving with the enemy_ , _fuck my back_ and _No, I'll never be okay again_. Dean had grimly mimicked his nod, most likely having the same thoughts echoing in his head.

Only with a little extra cruel twist. Dean and Seth never had been a _thing_ , but that had been something inevitable. Until a few hours ago, Roman had firmly believed that they would be any day now. Those two just belonged together, never able to stay away for too long, circling around each other like the dumb idiots they are. Were.

He can't help but silently thank Seth for always shying away from Dean in the very last second these past few weeks. He's not quite sure for how long Seth has been planning to abandon them, to leave Dean behind, but he's grateful that Seth 'only' broke their trust, not their hearts.

Though Roman isn't entirely convinced Seth could completely avoid breaking Dean's.

He wants to say something but honestly, he wouldn't even know what would calm the storm raging inside Dean's head.

So he stays silent and tries not to look to his left all the time to check on Dean. He knows how distracting it can be to realize someone is always watching you while you drive.

For a while he just keeps an eye on the world flashing by, sees people in the city laugh and talk to each other and misses Seth's voice more than he thought he would.

He wants to start bickering with Dean just for old time's sake and keep the childish hope alive that Seth would intervene at some point, sitting in the back just like he used to.

Before Roman can stop himself he looks back, ignoring the sharp pain shooting through his body like a bolt of lightning. The backseat is empty. Seth is no longer there.

He is so sick and tired of going through this, of coming up with reasons and excuses for Seth's behavior. Judging by the way Dean grips the steering wheel – knuckles turning white, jaw clenched – he feels the same.

Roman is only sure of one thing right now: Dean will never trust Seth again, no matter what explanation the other will (hopefully) offer in a few days on Smackdown. He somehow doubts either one of them is eager to discuss this on the phone.

Seth was always about sacrificing himself for the team, but Roman can't come up with a good enough reason to do what he did tonight. Even if it is all a plan to infiltrate Evolution, he should have told his brothers before jumping at the enemy.

They could have pulled this off as a team, as The Shield, like they always used to. But Seth has his own motivations, hasn't even considered letting them in on his plans. Which means he didn't trust them. Maybe for a while now. Maybe he never has.

It's hard to tell now, after receiving low blow after low blow, and thinking about it just gives Roman a headache he doesn't need on top of the throbbing pain in his back.

Dean's stubborn silence is a curse and gift alike.

On the one hand Roman desperately wants to talk about it. Doesn't want his earlier tweet to be the last thing he and Dean did together after everything that has happened. But then again, he had meant his words. Trust is dead to him. Seth has let them down one too many times.

He can't even trust Dean right now, no matter how much he wants to. He's afraid of that familiar feeling of relying on someone you love like your own flesh and blood, just to be kicked aside at any given moment.

Everyone had expected Dean to break apart, had deemed him unstable enough to run wild after a heated argument. No one had counted on Seth. Because he had done it once. Because he was the sweetest guys Roman ever knew.

Because he's Seth Rollins. The epitome of hard work, kindness and brotherhood.

How wrong he obviously has been. Roman can't even trust his own judgment anymore.

While the landscape changes into open fields and loneliness, Roman closes his eyes and remembers the night before. How, after their glorious win at Payback, they all had hugged. Relieved, happy and exhausted.

How good it had felt to experience all of this with Dean and Seth by his side.

Now he feels hollow and numb, can't believe he's been let down by the same guy twice in just three months. He hasn't loved Seth like Dean did – probably still does, because if Dean is anything, he's fucking loyal – but all the anger and disappointment can't cover up the crucial piece Seth has ripped out of his heart when he had attacked him with that steel chair and joined Triple H and Randy Orton.

Roman just wants to know how much of Seth has been fake. How long he's plotted against them, has thought about ditching them. How horribly he has fooled them. He wants to ask the kid if he's happy now. If he enjoys what he did.

Seth might not even know it – though Roman seriously doubts it; that kid is smarter than people give him credit for – but he has fractured The Shield. Has damaged Roman, and most importantly, he has _completely_ _destroyed_ Dean.

He doesn't have to say anything, Roman knows that Dean blames not only Seth for what happened tonight, but also himself.

He knows that inside of his head, Dean right now comes up with the most disgusting insults he can imagine. And Dean is pretty resourceful when it comes to that.

He should stop it, before it takes over Dean's entire mind but he can't. Doesn't even want to. Not because he blames Dean too. No, he never would. But because it wouldn't change a thing.

Seth is gone, Dean is broken, Roman is hurt and The Shield is cracked.

Dean and Roman would have to invest a lot of hard work to fix it again. To make it impenetrable. To never let someone tear it apart again.

He knows in this very moment that Seth won't ever be allowed back into their little patchwork family again. He and Dean can't go through the pain and suffering of being betrayed another time.

The finality of it hurts him more than he wants it to.

The chapter Seth Rollins has to be closed and Roman hopes it will be rather sooner than later. The longer this drags on, turns into a back and forth between Dean and... that traitor, the more it'll just hurt Dean. Both of them.

And no matter what happens, Roman has to protect Dean from any more harm Seth can throw their way.

The scar this has left on their souls will sting for the rest of their lives; it'll haunt them in their dreams to see their former brother side by side with _them_ , but Roman hopes it'll stop chipping away at their hearts one day, so they can finally move on.

So they can rise from the ashes Seth has left behind.

He listens to Dean breathe in deeply, doesn't miss it turning into a shaky inhale, but knows better than to comment on it. He doesn't want their first words after Seth to be this banal.

That Dean hasn't uttered a single word since they left the arena is alarming and something Roman doesn't want to get used to. He not only misses Seth's calm voice telling them they've missed an exit, laughing at Dean who just scowls and almost kills them by taking a sharp u-turn on the highway, just for Seth to go all pale and admit that he has just been joking.

No, he also misses Dean's rambling, getting worked up over everything and nothing until Seth just gently touches his neck and squeezes his hand, or flashes the hothead a blinding smile.

The silence that stretches on between them is deafening. If he wouldn't listen to the sounds of the car, Roman wouldn't even be sure he could still hear at all.

When he clears his throat and Dean shoots him a glare that couldn't be any more threatening, he realizes with a sadness that won't leave him for months that this is it. The Shield is done. There is no going back.

And neither Dean nor he had a say in it. Seth has taken that decision from them, has taken matters in his own hands and it just fuels Roman's fury.

It's now been almost two hours since their lives have fallen apart and Roman is ready to break the silence.

If he and Dean won't spend the night in a comfy hotel bed, mulling over the events and trying to come up with a reason good enough to not hate Seth, but instead drive around in their shared car until exhaustion would force them to stop, then they could as well talk about this here and now.

They have to start at some point.

Dean has to accept that whatever he wanted to have with Seth won't ever happen now. And Roman will make sure that Dean's heart will be mended again, like a big brother should do, and that no one ever dares to break it.

That Seth won't get anywhere near Dean a third time.

He has dastardly broken Dean's trust twice already and even though Roman is pretty sure that he won't give the former architect of The Shield another chance, he still wants to protect whatever is left of Dean's ability to trust.

 _If_ there is anything left at all.

The problem Seth Rollins won't go away, no matter how hard they try to ignore it, so Roman once again opens his mouth, not yet knowing what exactly he wants to say, but sure something will come out that isn't a _I miss him_ (he does but that's not what both of them need right now) or _I know you're hurting_ (because even though he feels like shit too he has absolutely no idea how hard it must be for Dean).

Dean must have sensed his wish to discuss this delicate matter because he swerves the car to the right and hits the breaks so hard that a new flash of agony surges through Roman's body, painfully reminding him of the pitiful condition of his back.

He's one second away from yelling at Dean, from letting out his own frustration, but the moment he whips his head around and looks into those blue eyes, he swallows down the words resting on the tip of his tongue.

He has expected Dean to radiate irrepressible wrath, to wriggle around in his seat because Dean never keeps still, is always moving, practically vibrating with life and energy.

But right now, Dean is only a shadow of himself. It shocks Roman so much that his whole brain blacks out, unable to give any proper instructions.

His partner is pale, mouth a thin line and his eyes seem haunted. Like he is playing the events of the night over and over again in his mind, not wanting to hit the button to stop it. As if his whole body will shut down once he allows himself to let go of Seth and the idea of what they could have been.

Roman's mouth is still open, even though his voice is not cooperating but it's not even necessary to talk. Dean's eyes say it all.

It will take years for Roman to fix what Seth has broken. Maybe forever if Dean decides that constant pain and misery is the only thing that motivates his every action from now on.

Before he can reach out to pull Dean in a hug, he watches the other practically jump out of the car and his stomach does a little relieved flip because, yes, this is the Dean he knows.

And if he can overcome this betrayal, then Roman can do it too. After all, he didn't love Seth the same profound way Dean did.

But his hopes are crashed when Dean doesn't freak out once he's walked a few steps away from the car.

Roman desperately wants to see the other trash around, yell at the world and a God the younger no longer believes into – hell, at Seth even – but Dean just stands there, breathing hard before he bends over and throws up until his body can't hold his weight anymore and he sinks down, knees hitting the sand and stones on the ground with a sickening thud.

He opens his door, worried that Dean might get so worked up that he'll never come down again, but Dean's hand rises, urging him to stay where he is. His fingers are shaking violently, showing all of his mistrust and sadness alike and Roman's heart sinks a bit.

Dean can't stand his presence at the moment – much like Roman, who would also rather be alone, holed up in a hotel or at home to gather his thoughts and process what the fuck has happened with them.

Dean most likely won't be able to be anywhere near him until he has to put on his mask and appear on Smackdown again. Though Roman honestly can't say if there's a future for the two of them without their missing brother.

If they can even work together after being slapped in the face by Seth and life alike.

There is no need for words now, Dean's body language obvious enough for Roman to get the hint. It just hurts to see him broken like that. Roman has never thought that one guy could leave Dean Ambrose, of all people, so completely shattered.

Roman can't hear it, but he sees Dean's shoulders sag down and he knows Dean allowed himself just this one sign of weakness. One sob, one single tear. One final goodbye.

His eyes burn dangerously, and Roman forces his body to not turn around and take one last look at the backseat.

It's not the same without their friend, and no matter what happens in the future, without Seth, it will never be.


End file.
